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War Stories


War Stories

Production Code: 1AGE09
Original Airdate: December 6, 2002

Written by: Cheryl Cain
Directed by: James Contner


Niska - Michael Fairman Viktor - Michael A. Bentt 
Councilor - Katherine Kendall  Torture Victim - Johnny Shakespeare
Bolles - Rolando Molina  Man - Jason Van
Torturer - John Dunn   


    Wash is jealous of the history his wife Zoë shares with Mal from when they were fighting against the Alliance. So Wash decides to push in to go on a mission with Mal that Zoë was supposed to go on. Mal goes with Wash instead because it is a simple enough job, they should be okay, but Mal isn't pleased with the tension going on. Meanwhile, Inara is a companion to a councilwoman, to the surprise of her fellow crewmembers.
    Mal and Wash arrive to make the deal and all is going smoothly until a third party starts shooting, capturing Wash and Mal. Niska turns out to be behind it all, looking to fix any harm Mal and company did to his reputation when they didn't correctly finish the arranged train job (see Train Job). The two men are tortured, but Mal keeps Wash going by discussing the marital issues. Meanwhile the rest of the crew investigates and figures out what's going on. Zoë prepares to go in and get them back, collecting all of the crew's money to pay Niska. But Niska feels the money is only sufficient for one man and some change, so Zoë leaves with Wash and part of Mal's ear. Then all of the crew, even Shepard Book, successfully shoot their way in to save Mal who is also fighting for his survival. They all return to serenity, Mal gets his ear reattached, and Wash respects his wife's relationship with the Captain but Niska is still out there.

Read the Script 

Memorable Quotes:

Wash: "And then came the lying to me about it,
which for me is sort of the highlight of this little adventure."

Zoe: "Is there any way I'm gonna get out of this with honor and dignity?"

Wash: "You're pretty much down to ritual suicide, lambie-toes."


Wash: "Didn't want you taking off without me.
In fact, didn't want you taking off at all.
Thought I might take this run instead.  Me and the Captain."

Mal: "The Captain who's standing right here telling you that's not gonna happen?"

Wash: "Well, it's a dangerous mission, sir.
I can't stand the thought of something happening
that might cause you two to come back with another
thrilling tale of bonding and adventure.
I just can't take that right now."

Mal :"Okay, um, I'm lost.
Uh, I'm angry, and I'm armed,
so if you two have something that you need to work out --"

Zoe: "Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?"
Book: "Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."


Section Editor: Cassandra   -   Email Cassandra   -   Cassandra's Bio   -   Last Edited on: July 30, 2005

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