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Firefly-isms

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Once upon a time, at the Official FOX forum established for fans to discuss Firefly, a thread was started called "Fireflyology."  Mike Morrow (aka MadDawgg) asked fans to submit vocabulary words relevant to Firefly. Read the alphabetized results, below:

A Full Washload: what happens when Wash gets cut off.

Ani-Mal: presently being repressed by Cap'n Reynolds and waiting to be released by Inara (use your imagination). :-)

Applelogy (pronounced "apology"): Jayne's preferred form of making up for past wrongs.

Ath-wipe: anyone who has had their clock justifiably cleaned by Malcolm.

Badger index: table underlying a series of manipulative strategies designed to get the Serenity crew into trouble.

Badgered: the result of being stuck with the a$$ end of a deal because the buyer gets squeemish and backs out.

Baldwinosis: castitus infection that causes the victim to rant uncontrollably about airlocks, Westerns, South Park and cow pies. (See thread, "We cast members are fans of yours," on the Fox/Prospero board for illustration.)

Bao Wow!: what you say when the chow's fresh, hot and ready to eat.

Barflight: running from a bar during a melee when you realize you are vastly out numbered.

Beaglephilia: the unnatural attraction to transport Beagles due to their small stool size.

Bester-ed: when the girl you just had a Kayleeaison with takes your job away from you...

Black slide: when Serenity slips beyond the normal routes and travels in the black so's not to be seen...

Blinkie: essentially this is a blue colored Twinkie (hence the name) made by the infamous Blue Sun group/company. It is a blue colored cake filled with light blue frosting. Mal loves his Blinkies and gets really ticked off when someone tries taking one from him. River will somehow find a way to use Blinkies as a weapon.

Blue-hand Trauma: expulsion of capillaries, severe bleeding at the occular, phalanges, and oral cavities following an attack of the Alliances' blue-hands.

Blue-hands O' Death (he was bhd'd): termination at the hands of the bh's.

Blue-meanies: people who post nasty comments on our beloved forum [the Official Fox forum], or the nasty comments themselves.

Book Marksmanship: the way Book can shoot!

Book Smarts: what you know about Book

Book Tour: this odd trip Book is taking

Book-a-Backing: what a Shepherd does to help out a crew, though "not with the stealing."

Bookation: Book's "special hell" reserved for child molesters and those who talk in the theater.

Bookend: ending a conversation with a spiritually meaningful statement.

BookID: an IDcard that can be used to highly impress any Alliance types.

Bookish: a tendency to read archaic tomes and dispense sage wisdom

Bookulation: conjecture regarding Shepherd Book's past.

Book-zilla: refers to Shepherd anytime he's let his hair down.

BouKaylee: the pretty flowers Kaylee paints on things

Brayne: Biceps. An example: Jayne and Mal are being held captive by some thugs. Mal looks as Jayne and says, "looks like we ain't gonna get out of this by thinkin'. We're gonna have to use our braynes!"

Browncoatitis: the unexplainable feeling of wanting to fight for the independents.

Browncoats: the name for all Firefly fans.

Canton Syndrome: tendency to misinterpret selfish acts as heroic ones.

Captain Dummy Talk: what technical terms are after being re-worded.

Castitus: Psychotic episode linked to the presence of cast member on bulletin boards. Causes middle aged professional and young serious scholar alike to descend into fits of cooing, heavy salivation and manic praise. Is often accompanied by high fever and incoherent sentence structure. Extreme cases become highly agitated and may jump up and down and be incapable of cognate function. May also manifest fainting spells and deluded belief that cast member posts only for them.

China Syndrome: admonishing a person who just spoke Chinese to watch their language...

Cobbensation: the cut that "the box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing" expects from each job for his efforts.

Cobb-ents: any threat or smart-a$$ remark directed at Jayne in response to a Cobbservation.

Cobblestones: you have to have big ones to go up against Jayne and Vera.

Cobbservation: completely not getting the point of what is going on around oneself. (i.e. "what is she mad or somethin'")

Cobbsolete: what you become if you meet the wrong end of Vera.

Cobbulate: Jayne wanted to trade Vera for a chance to Cobbulate with Saffron (no kissing on the mouth allowed!)

Cowgo: carrying livestock of questionable legality.

Cowpiephobia: unnatural fear of stepping in cow manure. Those afflicted of Cowpiephobia usually suffer from Beaglephilia as well.

Crow's feet: the right engine intake of serenity, or all that was left of crow after encountering said right engine intake.

Debunk: v., to pry Jayne away from his evil companion-related thoughts. N., where the crew members go to relish their evil thoughts.

Dream Job: practice client at the Companion Academy

Firefliction: that particularly virulent strain of castitus common among highly intelligent and cultured fans of show similar name.

Firefluke: having sudden inexplicable engine problems.

Firefly High: the euphoria "Firefly" fans feel whenever the show is on, or is about to be on, or was just on...

Firefly Syndrome: increasingly popular form of anxiety caused by the proximity of friday nights. Palpitations, pizza & coke cravings and a wide "ear to ear" smile are common symptoms. Irritability towards lesser quality shows may occur. If symptoms persist, please contact your local fox station immediately.

Fireflyian: people who love Firefly (see also: "Browncoats").

Fireflyobia: fear of seeing something 'disturbing' on Firefly, and going on a tirade about in on a message board...

Firefly-Q: what you know about Firefly

Flood (noun, singular...also flood/flooding, verb): an occasion when River's seemingly mindless rants and ramblings escalate and overflow! E.g. "I think River's getting ready to flood!" "did ya see that flood when River..." "oh goodie, River's flooding again!" much as there are conditions that combine to bring about a flood in real life, I think better understanding of what brings about River's fits of insanity is warranted...and worthy of our further consideration.

Flysanity: extreme foolishness, going public crazy in defense and promotion of Firefly.

Flysics: the assumptions that keep serenity flying and our faithful crew right side up on the floor plating. Not to mention the cowpies from floating around the ship!

Flyspeck: the minuscule details that make this show so great that we fans just love and have to comment on.

Foxing/Foxed: what the fox company does to good quality output that catches it's attention. (this is a genuine term used by the gaming community, since fox are always threatening private individuals with legal action when they make fanfiction-type games of fox products) pilot error - airing the pilot only after you've plainly decided to kill the series (See also: "Reaved" and "Triple Damned Moron.) 

Frye high: (1) the euphoria ms. Kaywinnit lee frye feels when she sees free strawberries, junkyard synchronizers, a certain "swai" (shuai) doctor, etc. (2) a similar euphoria felt by the Kaylights and other Kaylee fans whenever she is on screen or in their thoughts (i.e., most of the time).

Frye-Q: what you know about Kaylee

Good Bible: 1) reading material inevitably leading to the special hell. 2) tool used in the Saffronization process. (See also: "Saffronized.")

Grand Mal seizure: when Mal takes all your money

Hey-Kay 47: River saving Kaylee by blowing away three bad guys with Kaylee's gun

Hi-larious: Very funny.

Humpty dumpty: selling Alliance cargo for a cheaper price than agreed on, before you're screwed gettin caught with it

Inara/whore complex: this complex revolves around the dichotomy of Mal viewing Inara as two distinct and separate personas, that of saint and sinner (for example her job vs. Herself). And can center around how he's apparently abhorrent of her profession, yet it still turns him on.

Inara-duction: which would be defined as "any time sex is involved in a first date or meeting."

Inaranoscopy: a companion check-up requiring lots of needles and cold exam tables

Inarapport: the complicated growing relationship Mal has with Inara

Inaric: coy and seductive.

Inaromance: any appointment with a licensed companion.

Janegang (as in, on the Jaynegang): devoted fans, and lustees of the character, "the man they call Jayne...." this is where he is the 'Jayne of command'.

Jayne reaction: Mal starts a bar fight, causes Jayne to join in.

Jayne-chain: the chain of command that Jayne will use to beat others silly.

Jayne-fu: a branch of martial arts where practitioners focus on giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back.

Jayneful or Jayne pain: how it feels when Jayne snaps your neck.

Jayne's Addicted: group of fans who worship adam baldwin because of his most excellent portrayal of Jayne Cobb and his wonderful delivery of lines like: "you gotta wife? All I got was that dumbass stick sounds like it's raining. How come you gotta wife?" (not to be confused with Jayne's Addiction which has to do with coveting hand held weapons capable of blowing large holes in his opponent.)

Jaynus Ex Machina: the sudden appearance of Jayne coming out of serenity to rescue a fellow crew mate just in the nick of time.

Kay-day: any function where she can wear her frilly dress.

Kayke: a celebratory dessert made mostly from protein by Kaylee

Kaylaid: the end result of a Kayleeasion.

Kaylayed: when something's broke that can't be fixed.

Kaylee complex: the desire to take a big wet bite out of Simon all over.

Kayleeaid: not really anything medical, but it's first aid for a busted up ship.

Kaylee-in-the-buff: the condition eventually resulting in a Kayleeasion.

Kayleeshine: any time Kaylee thinks about Simon or wants to get him something nice.

Kaylee-size: having to put on 10 pounds for an acting part.

Kayleexamination: questioning buffet tables to make sure they aren't withholding crucial information.

Kaylicks: what Kaylee risks getting when she sticks her toe in youre face.

Kaylights: are known to score especially high on standardized Frye-Q tests

Kaylingo: things that need to be translated into captain dummy talk.

Kayprey: Simon, or any other object of her affection.

Kellyology: the special studies made by the person that brings all this about for the fans.

Keyholeophobia: the fear of pissing off Cap'n Reynolds.

Malapportioned: the take distributed among the crew after a job

Mal Content: the feeling you get when a plan works correctly. This is a rare condition that has never actually occurred on Serenity.

Mal fee-sense:- "let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job...I get paid."

Mal-a culpa: it's Mal's fault.

Mal-action: all the times Captain Tightpants gets his butt kicked/face punched/tossed around and still manages to win the fight.

Maladjusted: Jayne's new state of mind since captain reynolds introduced him to the airlock.

Maladjusted: someone's status after Malcolm has laid 'em out.

Malady: Mal's woman. "someday, we'll all have to refer to Inara as Malady."

Malamute: the silence that follows after Saffron offers a foot washing

Malappropriate: want, see, take

Malapropism: Mal saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, with a good chance that he won't even notice (e.g. From the end of "Our Mrs. Reynolds" when Mal says to Inara "I knew you kissed her.").

Malapropism: the tendency to get words wrong, probably due to an under-abundance of schoolin'

Mal-arity: Hilarity resulting from a Malcom Reynolds action. For example "hmm.. Darn" *kick*  in "The Train Job."

Malchoistic: letting the plow get cobwebs and rust

Malcolmations: declarations made by our illustrious Captain to put someone in their place.

Malcontent: anything that Mal has to say as Captain.

Mal-eable: what a crew member becomes after they've been stuck in the airlock. "Jayne will be more Mal-leable after his talk with the Captain in 'Ariel'."

Mal-ediction: swearing in a foreign language so no one can understand. "I wish I could understand the Mal-edictions during the show."

Malevolent : "You wanna see the real me now?!"

Malforia: when all daydreams (and night dreams for that matter) revolve around Mal.

Malfunction: when Mal can still maintain the ship, even after being shot in the stomach

Maliavellian: unscrupulous, cunning from our beloved Cap'n

Mal-icious: when you lock people in cargo holds and threaten to send them flying into space. Or, when you're just plain pissed off and want to throw a wrench at someone.

Mal-nurished: feeling hunger pangs for Mal, when weeks without Firefly have gone by...I'm starving...help meeeeeee....

Malnutrition: Mal: continuing to eat a meal that Jayne complains 'tastes like crotch' as he looks dourly on.

Mal-o-holic/ Jayne-o-holic: obsessive 'thoughts' revolving around Mal, or Jayne. :) (may plug in any of the Serenity crew's names)

Malpenal code: getting shoved into the hatch when you've done something bad

Meandering River: when River drifts off somewhere, and drifts back (either physically, or mentally).

Muddermania: sudden loss of sanity, and urge to throw one self in the line of fire when Jayne is threatened.

Musicalitis: the urge of a firefly writer to create a show-staged musical on Firefly!

Niskavation: a method to get other people to do your bidding involving the various painful things that will happen to said people if they don't do your bidding.

Nistake: 1.kidnapping and torturing Serenity crewmembers. 2. thinking Mal is totally out of it after torture.

No-blog Blahs (feeling of "Hey, where's Kelly's blog this week?")

Officiapression: the gloom and doom that surrounds the Serenity crew whenever confronted with an Alliance vessel.

Pilot error: airing the pilot only after you've plainly decided to kill the series. (See also: "Triple Damned Moron" and "Foxed.") 

Plain Jayne: the art of saying what everyone else is thinking, where everyone else is too tactful to actually say it themselves.

Plain-Jayne: a person who wears mono-chromatic clothing, usually accesorized with big guns and shiny knives.

PreCobbnition: how Jayne knows his t-shirt will be ruined so he wears an old one (old "Blue Sun" T-shirt knifed by River in "Aariel," old "28" T-shirt shot by niska henchman in "War Stories")

Pretty Little Bonnet: what Mal swears on in lieu of swearing to God, or on his mother's life, or pinky-swearing. As in: "... Or I swear on my pretty little bonnet I will end you." I don't recall the bonnet (or any other bonnet of Mal's) appearing in other episodes, but there remains the possibility that pretty little bonnet(s) are deeply important/worship-worthy to him.

Rainstick envy: the jealousy that persists when you find out someone else got a wife while you got a crappy rain-stick...

Reafear: similar to Officiapression, except they're confronted with a Reaver vessel.

Reaved: verb describing a serious, sometimes calamitous, fate. ("if the Tams are blamed for the deaths at the hospital, they are reaved.") also used to describe anything that's beyond merely wrong. ("Happy Gilmore instead of Firefly? That's reaved!)

Reavelation: That "oh $hit!" feeling you get when you realize that the ship coming your way is crewed by Reavers.

Reaver bait: what you are when you fly in the uncharted hinterlands of space.

Reaver chow: what you are if the Reavers catch you...

Reaverrhia: what happens in your pants when a Reaver throws you to the floor and ends up with his/her fishhooked nose one inch from yours.

Reavers' Psychology: making people do what you want by telling them you won't eat them or wear their skin if they comply.

Reynoldism: any smart remark made by Mal, usually resulting in a fight or a death. (i.e. "nothing, I was just distracting you so she could get behind you." "Oh darn." kills crow.)

Reynolds Rap Sheet: the list of Mal's crimes

Reynolds Rapport: the complicated growing relationship Inara has with Mal

Reynold's Wrap: what Jayne got upside the head when Mal talked to him with a wrench.

River Dance: a spastic flailing accompanied by a stream of babble.

Riveranda warning: what Federal marshals yell at fugitives.

Riverdance: when one has forgotten she is a young woman, and suddenly remembers.

Riverflow: that particular stream of River's consciousness that's more like a raging torent.

Riverisms: the factual and morbidly creepifying tidbits that River spouts at random intervals.

Riverrie: the uncontrollable urge to take a knife and slice someones across the chest.

Riversed: used whenever a person wisely changes their mind about an action and agrees with River's precognitive statements (i.e.: Jayne in "Ariel," running away from the guards instead of at 'em).

RiverWash: the unlikely event that Joss has River and Wash chat,

Safe: not safe, as in: "this just looks like an abandoned ship; we're safe" or "these people look quite friendly with their bonnets and spikes. This is a safe place to stay with my witchy-like sister" or "we'll be safe with Jayne."

Saffron Foam: what comes out of one's mouth when one "kisses 'em on the lips..."

Saffronitis: what you get from kissin' 'em on the mouth.

Saffronized: kissed by Saffron, as in "I've been Saffronized and did not live to tell about it."

Saffron-mythos process: the transformation of any myth or sacred texts into something erotic.

Serenamenities: lacking in conveniences but surrounded by good friends.

Serendipity: when the crew finds a nice clean lake, strip off all their clothes and jump in.

Serenitease: when a network orders two eps at a time and plans a hiatus for a show they know is the best thing on tv just to drive it's viewers batty.

Serenitized: the emotional shut down occurring to veterans of the battle of serenity. "Mal was left totally serenitized"

Serenomics: stealing from the rich, selling to the poor

Serrated: how Mal feels after being cut down by Inara Serra

Shindig: (n) this is not only one of our beloved episodes of Firefly, it is now the term used whenever Firefly fans gather. For example, there is a vegas shindig coming up and an east coast shindig being planned. Synonyms: soiree, party, kegger, bash, to-do, get-together, jamboree.

Shindigified: (v) refers to people going to a shindig. They are either going to be shindigified, or have been shindigified. (adj) how a Firefly fan acts at a shindig i.e. Quoting the show, whooping it up generally.

Shuttlesnit: sudden retreat to one's shuttle or room in response to insults or too much ribbing from fellow crewmembers.

Si-Inaras-any: and all corrections and rejections of Mal by Inara (and if they are sarcastic, all the better)

Simonize: to inject someone to induce sleep, either to prevent a high-handed attempt at taking charge, or as part of a complex heist.

Simonoscopy: reserved look and/or glare dr. Simon Tam reserves exclusively for captain Mal.

Simonphobia: not being able to sleep because of the fear that Malcolm renolds will kill you in your sleep.

Simony: the paper script that Jayne takes from the doctor's bag,

Simple Simon: poor Simon's innability to understand what his sister is talking about.

Standard deviation: behavior often displayed by River Tam on a good day.

Syringity: an inordinate amount of needle use on the ship

Tam-a-lam-a-ding-dong: the name for an irrational Buffy fan who wants to see a musical episode of Firefly.

Tambulance: any airborne craft Cobbled together in a hurry to gain entrance to a medical facility.

Tamlings: two or more very emotionally close siblings or relatives, willing to sacrifice their lives for one another.

Tam-trums: any fit or complaining that is not justified by the situation (i.e. - River going off for no reason, Simon whining about.. Well, everything).

The Blue Hands Two Step: walking into a room and melting everybody's brain

The Mal effect: a sudden end to conflict usually involving an abrupt physical attack by Captain Reynolds such as "kicking the bad guy (who swears he’ll hunt the crew of the Firefly down until the day he dies) into the port engine. Or, luring the lone survivor of a reave attack into range with kind words and cleaning his clock with a right cross to the chops!

The Mock of Zoerro: the biting remarks people, Mal especially, hear from Zoe.

Triple Damned Moron: anyone involved in a decision to cancel Firefly.

Un-Washed: any scene without a "Washline".

Up-the-down-slide: doing something a**-backwards

Vera-fied: any confirmed kill.

Verakin: Jayne's gun collection.

VIPLash: what happens when a firefly VIP posts on any board and the threads grow exponentially.

Wash cycle: a ring of juggled geese

Washboard: it's got all the shiny buttons

Washboard: sudden entry onto the Serenity, usually following a grand entrance due to some local color.

Washline: a non-helpful response to a crisis situation. For example "I was going to watch. It was very exciting."

Wash-n-wear: it's all about style

Washroom: cockpit

Washville: crappy town where Wash is a hero.

Washysteria: we're all dooooooomed!

White-Washing: Whenever Wash tries his best to protect "the girls" from things unpleasant or dangerous, for example "and the apples were wholesome and good!" in "War Stories".

White-water rapids: the turbulent state of River's emotions

Whore: "I love you" in Mal-speak.

Wishy-Washy: loving space, but wanting to spend more time with Zoe planet side.

Zoecide: killing yourself by making Zoe angry.

Zoecisim: dealing what has to be dealt with in the most efficient manner, usually followed by the word "Sir".

Zoelogical: a straight shootin', cut the fancy talk, approach to get to what's what.

Zoening Laws: what Wash has to follow to avoid getting killed by his wife.

Zoephobia: She can kill you, ya know

Zoetrope Studious: that alert, vigilant quality that cuts through all the bullsh*t and right to the heart of the situation.

Zoic: aggressive, tough, and female.

Zombiflyed: how one feels after reading a 231 post thread in one sitting (this one), then spending the rest of the day reading the remainder of the board

Zophie's choice: an easy decision (quick "him," interr

 

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